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i used to have something written for this, now i lost it. when i drew this drawing i just wanted to represent something close to childhood innocence while being part of the (lgbt... whatever) community at the same time. representing that with rainbow is well.. basic, i know but its a huge part of his character for me and a large chunk of why i love him as much as i do. at this time, i was also utilizing a lot of color in my art in a way i would consider very artistic to my standards, for i don't really perceive color in this way. akechi's character, in general, represents just a bigger message to how corruption occurs even to people who are firsthand affected by the system. seeing that through a lens i only really know how to, truly at least even if it was never really my experience to a full degree, him being apart of the community can largely play into that is what i believe. the drawing is basically him wishing for what he was and had when he was younger. not just for the life and people he knew (his mother), but even the way he felt about himself and felt about social justice, especially being autistic. its about wishing for that simplicity when you felt like you could've conquered anything. before you learned the mind was so much more complex than you could've ever imagined, before you learned people's obsessions with labels and learned that you had to feel the same. and your simple blow, your simple wish releases such a beauty because of how desperately you crave such a desire, that you need it just as desperately. obviously, i can never truly tell you what i intended for i probably didn't intend much but creating something for his birthday that also represents the event that occurs during it, laughable to a large degree but i think all the aspects are important to address and that is just the one that i focus on most, due to my own obsessions and traumas.

this drawing has nothing much to it and honestly, i was just trying to replicate a similar style to my last drawing. i was still in my instagram days (this was my last instagram post lol, majorly speaks for itself) and held very close to me the concept of "style" which is nothing but just ridiculous. i was listening to bjork's discography while drawing this while trying out some new headphones and thats why i decided to change the palette to green, blue, purple and yellow. i think that i did a really good job at capturing sakura's essence and facial features however, which makes me really happy. cardcaptor sakura is the show that started this all for me and ive never been able to properly draw something for it until this moment so although that wasn't really my intention when drawing this, its nice to look back on i guess. i never had even seen the original drawing of this until i saw it and decided to redraw it so that was also special in its own right. i want to give a little moment to appreciate that however, the boost of creativity you get from experiencing other art. as i said, i remember seeing this and then i was listening to bjork and it really is beautiful to be able to experience other inspiring works. experiencing things for the first time is a magical feeling and to a much larger degree, i wish i could experience things the way i did as a kid. even if we experience new things for the first time everyday, being a kid doesn't make you conceptualize that yet so i guess it feels more beautiful. ignorance is bliss i guess, lol.

i wholeheartely believe this is my best drawing and will probably be for quite some time. not just because it is absoluetely stunning and nothing as ive ever been able to create before and even now, but because this drawing came from such a place of genuine love. rgu was and is such a special show to me that im so glad i watched when i did for im so glad i understood it because for how little this show is talked about, thats the least bit it deserves. i know thats asking for a lot but honestly, this show beats a lot of other "deep" media many people talk about and praise and deserves the same hype, if people weren't so stupid i guess. but back to the drawing itself, i remember i distinctively wanted to create something that summarized my love for the series (hence why i chose to do a redraw and not something original, for im not very good at those as id like to be yet) and i think i did pretty well. it was really fun drawing this and feeling how smooth the texture was of the brush i was using and you could even see it to! this art style was something that ive practiced for years and never have i gotten it quite right but i think i really did something original here that ive never seen even in those ive taken very direct inspiration from and that makes me so, so happy. i was even able to give everyone distinct features that i think pretty much match their representive ethnicities (as per headcanon) and i appreciate that largely, for whatever that's worth. i remember being a bit angry towards of end of finishing this due to how many techinques i utilized for brush strokes and i still somehow wasnt finished but im glad i never gave up on this (i do that a lot). i hope to watch something that will one day make me draw like this again or maybe ill just be able to produce similar pieces regularly just by the improvement of skill. whatever the case, this drawing made me remember why i just love drawing so much. freedom of expression and the ability of interpretation are incredible.

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